In the heat of battle and under extreme pressure, some brave men in history have managed to come up with witty rejoinders off the cuff that are the envy of many a writer who would spend hours coming up with them.
“Nuts!” — General McAuliffe of the 101st Airborne to the German commander at the Battle of the Bulge. (This was interpreted as “Go to hell.”)
“I have not yet begun to fight!” — Commodore John Paul Jones, while his ship was sinking.
“Come and take them!” — the Spartan’s legendary response to the Persian emperor at the battle of Thermopylae, when Xerxes commanded them to lay down their arms.
Continuing the spirit of Memorial Day throughout the week, this exercise will require a bit of research into military history. Take a few minutes to read some of the most famous lines, and then research to see what others you can find.
5 Gutsy Replies to Enemy Demands for Surrender
The 5 Best Responses to Surrender Ultimatums in History
10 of the Toughest Military Quotes
Comment and share your favorites!
The Exercise:
Write a dozen (or so) witty, snarky, or just plain fierce rejoinders to one or more of these hypothetical scenarios:
A demand for surrender,
A threat,
Or an insult.
If it helps, start with a brief summary-like description of the specific scenario you are imagining, and then write out the exact phrasing of the demand, threat, or insult (and you might brainstorm a few of those, too). You can also start with one of the historical situations you found in your research and invent alternative responses.
Then, each of your twelve ideas can be written as short excerpts of conversation, or even as brief letters sent between the characters in the conflict. Be as creative with the format as you like.
Try for at least a dozen, knowing that most of them probably won’t be great. The hope is to end up with one (or maybe two) real gems that you can incorporate into a story later on.
Write on!
—AF